Month: June 2013

Barefoot Mama on Relationships after Birth

The way your relationship with your partner develops during the first days, weeks, months and years after the birth will have a lasting impact on yours and your children’s happiness. The first thing for me was to work out our roles and our priorities. My role and my priority has always been my children’s emotional and physical health. My husband’s has always been to put a roof over our heads, clothes and shoes on our bodies and food in our bellies. Even though I have always been a working mama my work has not been the main income. Understanding these roles has enabled us to work as a team but not to feel put out by the lack in the other for where we stand with parenting. It has enabled us to appreciate all that the other person does within our family unit and created an equality in our ‘work’ even though what we do isn’t the same. My husband works hard – we aren’t rich but we have our needs met even if we have many wants. At times I felt that I was the only one ‘bringing up’ the children but I soon realised that is where our roles lie. I am a feminist but equality doesn’t to me mean we are the same – we are not; we are different, but our needs and our contributions...

Read More

The Thinker on Relationships after Birth

So, you’ve had your baby, you’ve bought to an end that long ‘waiting’ period, that long time of ‘what ifs’, ‘how will it be’ and ‘can I do it’. Now you’ve got another little human being in your life, who is entirely dependent on you. You have changed, physically, emotionally, even mentally. People say you can never be prepared for the change a new baby brings, and it is true. It is an incredible mix of feelings of wonder, amazement, triumph, pride, terror and doubt – and that is just your feelings! Let’s imagine how it is for your partner. It may be that you were both very involved and prepared for the birth and Dad was very much a ‘part’ of the birth of your little one. It may be that you both went quite the other way and ignored the whole concept of the actual birth and you laboured away and he was standing by feeling completely helpless. However your birth went, if your partner was present at the birth they will feel overwhelmed and very possibly emotional about the process you have both been through. I have been at many births and every time it seems like a miracle to me, but I have not seen my loved one give birth! It is very helpful for you and your partner to have time together, to wonder...

Read More

Modern Day Mummy on Relationships after Birth

So, you’ve had the birth, you’ve got your gorgeous new bundle of fun who is saturating your every waking thought. A little bundle who needs you, wants you makes demands of you day through to night. Of course you don’t mind, you’re madly in love and the poor defenceless little being couldn’t survive with out you. And then you have your partner! Maybe I’m selfish, maybe I give to much of myself to my children but, I just feel that my fully grown partner who is more than capable of looking after himself just has to take a back seat when you have children. I’m like a lioness, my cubs come first above everything and everyone, including my partner and fortunately I don’t have a very needy partner so thankfully it works for us. This isn’t to say that I don’t suffer the failing wife guilt along with every other mother, and at times I have tried to do it all, clean house, make up on, hair done, dinner cooked, kids in their Sunday best. But, I found when I was being all these things I wasn’t be ‘me’ so, the kids weren’t getting ‘me’, my fella wasn’t getting ‘me’ and equally as important I wasn’t getting ‘me’. Something has to give, we’re all only human and if you have more than one child you’re dividing all your energy,...

Read More

What do you really need in your hospital bag?

It is best to pack yours and the baby’s items that will be needed into a bag a few weeks before your due date. I recommend having it ready as early as 32 weeks, as it is so much nicer to be prepared in an emergency situation-rather than relying on a partner or family member to get everything needed and bring to the hospital at a later stage. Only you really know what you want to have in it. Below is a list for the baby and a list for items you will/may need. Some of the things on...

Read More

Childcare Vouchers

With the spiralling cost of childcare, the decision whether to go back to work following maternity leave can be a finely balanced one. Many employers are keen to retain your skills and talent and so offering Childcare Vouchers makes a lot of sense. What’s more, opting for Childcare Vouchers could save you up to £933 per year on Income Tax and National Insurance Contributions. Here’s how they work:- Firstly, your employer needs to register for the Childcare Vouchers scheme. Most employers are keen to do so as this can save them money by reducing the amount of National Insurance...

Read More