Once you’ve embarked on the journey of motherhood, everything changes. It’s not just the practicalities of having your first baby and those that follow and their utter dependence on you. Mentally, there’s also a shift from being your own person to being a mum, where your priorities get realigned as the children’s happiness and wellbeing take centre stage.
Of course, this is an entirely natural process and it’s not one that many of us would like not to happen. However, sometimes it can suddenly occur to you that you really do put yourself lower down the list in terms of taking care of your own wishes and desires, rather than viewing everything through the spectrum of your child or children’s lives.
If you feel you’ve lost a little bit of yourself in motherhood, the danger is that you might begin to resent your children for it. So, instead of feeling like the woman who’s holding the family together, make some time for you, even though it might feel a little selfish and indulgent. Actually, it’s not, because it’ll make you more relaxed and, as a consequence, an even better mum.
You don’t need to book a week in the sun with the girls to achieve this of course. Although if you can manage it, a holiday without the kids might be a real tonic! There are lots of smaller, simple ways to redress the balance between being you and being a mum.
Become reacquainted with your dreams
While you’re caught up in the daily round of motherhood, it’s easy to put long-term plans on the back burner. However, your children aren’t going to be as dependent as they are on you now forever. So take time to think about what other goals you have in life beyond being a great mum. One way to take a look at the bigger life picture is through a psychic reading which you can arrange through a website such as The Circle. There are many types of readings you can have – tarot, astrology or clairvoyant, for example. Any psychic reading can help you evaluate your life as it is, and explore what else you want to achieve. The benefit of talking to a third party who you don’t know is that they can be completely objective, and not try to persuade you to follow any particular path, which a well-meaning friend or relative might.
Take up a hobby
Although you may feel life is busy enough, taking the time to learn something new can be remarkably therapeutic, and can give you a well-deserved break from motherhood, even if it’s just for a couple of hours a week. There are many online courses to choose from, of course, whether it’s to learn a language or improve your watercolour skills. However, it’s even better if you can arrange childcare so that you can go out to do your hobby somewhere else, with some new faces.
For instance, check out the evening classes available at local colleges such as Colchester Institute – they are usually surprisingly varied and can range from practical skills through to taking up academic study again. If evening classes aren’t your thing, then consider joining a sports team or running club.
Pamper treatments are always give you a boost, whether you’re getting your hair or nails done, or you’re having a facial. However, by booking in for an aromatherapy massage or similar you can get more than relief from physical aches and niggles. Provided that you don’t chat to the person giving you the massage, you can actually get into a really deep state of relaxation and zone out from the day to day stresses life throws up. If you find your mind is busy when you first lie down, gently push external thoughts away and concentrate solely on your breathing, and you’ll find the benefits of the massage are even more intense.
While you might not be able to schedule in a massage that often, making it a once a month treat could be a great way of getting some me time.
Most mums put their own wishes and desires into second place, and the majority of us wouldn’t have it any other way. But making some time for yourself in the midst of family life is important, and well worth doing.